‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
(Alex Lambert style)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a person was stirring, not even your spouse.
The stockings were washed and the counters wiped bare,
In hopes that some quiet time soon would be there.
You turn down the covers and hop into bed,
While visions of Alex-Lambert.com dance in your head.
The coffee is brewing, a two gallon vat,
To keep your eyes open for a long Lambert chat,
Suddenly you freeze, lose control of your bladder,
Begin to squeal loudly, your heart pitter-patter.
Away to the window you fly in a dash,
A sight there awaits you much better than cash.
The moon in the sky with its white lustrous glow,
Illuminates the sheen of a mullet below.
Are your eyes playing tricks, is your mind in a funk?
Could it really be a visit from that lovable punk?
Your ears perk up firmly and you hear his voice flutter,
And with one single note your heart melts into butter.
More soulful than Cooke, silky smooth just like Gaye,
Serenading you so softly you then hear him say,
“I appreciate you being my number one fan and I’ve come to say thank you the best that I can.”
He sings you to pieces, you lose sense of strife,
Alex Lambert has once again brightened your life.
“I Didn’t Know” & “Untouchable”, “Butterflies” & “One Kiss”,
a set list that nobody truly would miss.
On top of the world, your life is complete,
it’s one Christmas present that nothing could beat!
The sun slowly rises, your mouth still agape,
as you ponder your night of blissful escape.
Away he departs as he throws you a deuce,
you can’t hold it in and you really let loose.
You jump and you scream, you holler and cheer,
“Today was the best of the entire year!”
Then faintly you hear him as he walks out of sight,
“Mahalo to all, and to all a good night.”